Sick.

 The signals are that you never inactivate any account as you said but that's ok I guess, I just don't know why you need to lie that much. Then you follow again this Fatima and its ok, its just weird but wharever. I just want to tell you i'm not stupid anymore. 

I was calm before all of this, I was thinking maybe you were doing things right but you only were saying "oh you hate me, I deserve it" and you supposse  to work to be better.

And then you were making all this histories again about me being happy or putting happy songs? Why? And saying I don't care and I never cared? Why tho? That's why I said please tell me if you want to move on,  si I can't stop killing myself with saddness bc even if I'm trying to be better for you that doesn't matter because you don't make any effort. And btw, I was waiting for your first "monday letter" and you never send anything. It was even a weed and you go and as soon as you can you find anyone to be with or wharever you want to do. I know you will do this saying "oh you making me overthink" the only thing you overthink is how I find out everything, that's the only thing you want to talk with me. But let me tell you that "The truth always comes to light"

I'm sorry, I don't want this stupid game anymore. Even not talking or "not having contact" with you (because THIS playlist thing is still contact) still has me so stress out and panicking. Thinking "Is he making all things right? Is he being loyal? Is he doing well?" and you with you follows or unfollows or following someone, all of that sucks. I leave social because of you, for you to stop overthinking about the followers or likes and then I stay with that sickness. I want to stop a time ago but when you start making all this scenes about me putting "happy songs" and then saying "you never cared about me" I know you were saying all this things because you were making something and don't want to feel bad about it so that's why you blame on me, to feel less gulty. Then I think I have codependency on you, like adicction or something and I have to let you go and set you free to do everything you want without feeling preassure or need to run away from me. And me without thinking "is he doing well? is he loyal?". Because that's not love about.

It's so sad until today I want you in my life but I don't understand this is not real, this movie is not from us. This isn't love. I repeat all this words and can't understand any of them because I know the first thing I will do if I see you is hug you and kiss you. And after all the signals I still want to hear your voice saying " I love you" again.

I saw too a tweet from Jane speaking so explicitly about you and there I connect everything. Because just today your ig account just disappear, then Jane put all her account private. After a day she tweet this thing about you. And I know its about you. 

I don't want to talk anymore... I feel this just will end with my entire life because I can't live anymore. I'm so desperate for be with you and you don't see it, you never see how much I give for you, I give everything. My mind, my heart is crazy about you after all and I hate me for being so stupid. I don't know what are you going to say after this but I can have any discuss anymore. You're free to live your life as you want Marcelo, I'm tired of trying to take you in the "right place". You don't have to think about me coming again in your life or chasing you on social or wharever. I'm not going to do any of that, you can live your life in peace.

I'm going to erase all this bullshit next week.